this year i am so thankful to have attended gym classes, not only have i discovered that i have discipline to exercise my body, but i have also rekindled a joy for exercising.........
one of my favourite parts has been having a sauna at the end of a training session.......
to have a sauna i strip off all of my clothes and then i walk into a small enclosure with other woman, who are naked themselves......
now, although my precious husband adamantly states that he loves my body, it is not the same one which he married more than a decade ago, the same one i long to have again........on my insecure days,
soon after starting at the gym i noticed that my friend's mother-in-law was coming at the same time as me, she enjoys time in the sauna too........
i found that if there were complete strangers in the room that it was very easy for me to strip down and walk in, however, if my f-m-i-l was there it was a different story.......i would change my destination and enter into the steam room.....
one day i dared to ask the Lord, why?
you're afraid she'll notice your flaws......yes, but why only with this person whom i know, why do i feel comfortable to get naked in front of strangers?
and then He dug deeper.......you do this in your friendships too........it was true i did, and it was something which had bothered me in the past before.......
i had realised, a while back, that i found it easy to share personal struggles with new acquaintances, people whom i was just getting to know, who I didn't see often..........it had bothered me: why couldn't i share with people who were supposed to be my closest friends?
and then He gently whispered: you're afraid they won't love you.........
rejection hurts, and in the past it has caused me to build a wall.....don't let anyone see the real me, the ugly me, fat and all.......it was easier to share with relative strangers because they hadn't dared yet to commit to a friendship with me, it was more difficult to share with my closer friends because i feared that if they saw the real me they would walk away......stop loving me,
and this is when He guided me, gently with His rod.........it is time to share the naked truth of who you really are,
why?
if other's do not see your weaknesses they will not see My strength, they will not see My renewing, restoring power........
rest in Me, I accept you as you are, I will never leave you nor forsake you........
since then i have spent many restful sauna sessions with this lovely generous women,
and so now it is time for me to become naked with you.......
you will have noticed that I have switched off all comments-this is because i do not want to seek your approval anymore........i am choosing to believe that it is not in the approval of other's that i will find love........but rather it is in His Love that I have found approval,
i want to share with you the Love that the Lord has shown me.......and so when He leads I will follow, trusting that the green pastures He leads me to will bring refreshment and Life to your soul......as He has to mine......
one of my favourite parts has been having a sauna at the end of a training session.......
to have a sauna i strip off all of my clothes and then i walk into a small enclosure with other woman, who are naked themselves......
now, although my precious husband adamantly states that he loves my body, it is not the same one which he married more than a decade ago, the same one i long to have again........on my insecure days,
soon after starting at the gym i noticed that my friend's mother-in-law was coming at the same time as me, she enjoys time in the sauna too........
the sauna door is made of glass and if i enter the shower area i can easily see who i will be sharing this small enclosure with,
i found that if there were complete strangers in the room that it was very easy for me to strip down and walk in, however, if my f-m-i-l was there it was a different story.......i would change my destination and enter into the steam room.....
one day i dared to ask the Lord, why?
you're afraid she'll notice your flaws......yes, but why only with this person whom i know, why do i feel comfortable to get naked in front of strangers?
and then He dug deeper.......you do this in your friendships too........it was true i did, and it was something which had bothered me in the past before.......
i had realised, a while back, that i found it easy to share personal struggles with new acquaintances, people whom i was just getting to know, who I didn't see often..........it had bothered me: why couldn't i share with people who were supposed to be my closest friends?
and then He gently whispered: you're afraid they won't love you.........
rejection hurts, and in the past it has caused me to build a wall.....don't let anyone see the real me, the ugly me, fat and all.......it was easier to share with relative strangers because they hadn't dared yet to commit to a friendship with me, it was more difficult to share with my closer friends because i feared that if they saw the real me they would walk away......stop loving me,
and this is when He guided me, gently with His rod.........it is time to share the naked truth of who you really are,
why?
if other's do not see your weaknesses they will not see My strength, they will not see My renewing, restoring power........
rest in Me, I accept you as you are, I will never leave you nor forsake you........
since then i have spent many restful sauna sessions with this lovely generous women,
and so now it is time for me to become naked with you.......
you will have noticed that I have switched off all comments-this is because i do not want to seek your approval anymore........i am choosing to believe that it is not in the approval of other's that i will find love........but rather it is in His Love that I have found approval,
i want to share with you the Love that the Lord has shown me.......and so when He leads I will follow, trusting that the green pastures He leads me to will bring refreshment and Life to your soul......as He has to mine......
