do me a favour, click on the video and let it play softly as you read this post
i grew up with a catholic mother who, in our early years, dutifully dragged us to church every sunday, to sit, stand, repeat the words, listen to the Word, kneel, pray, sit, stand.......until it became routine,
when i was old enough to receive first holy communion and after completing the sunday school lessons preparing me for this occasion, it was time to enter the confession booth for the first time......i sat and waited for my turn and watched as a boy was dragged kicking and screaming to the booth, it was whispered that he didn't like to enter closed places......neither did i.......and fear climbed up within......i didn't want to enter that place and tell a strange man all the things i had ever done wrong, i didn't know him......i remember thinking:why couldn't i just speak to Jesus?
draw near to me, for I'll draw near to you
our family entered into a storm after this time, which would seem to last a lifetime........we left our home and friends behind to make a new beginning...........only to return with too much shame to share.... slowly we retreated, the routine of church lost.........i found a family in which i could take refuge somedays, their home offered stability, unity and acceptance......they spoke of Jesus and took me to a church totally different to the routine that i had been used to.....
draw near to me, for I'll draw near to you
draw near to me, for I'll draw near to you
when i entered college a few years later i was surrounded by believers of different denominations, i still thought of myself as a catholic, although i wasn't attending church regularly with my mom anymore......our family had separated and she was allowing me the freedom to live my life......
and then one day someone challenged my thoughts: you can't be a christian if you're a catholic..... i began to question more......basically she believed that i prayed to mary and that i shouldn't, that i should only pray to Jesus......i, personally didn't pray to mary, i didn't pray to anyone really.......but what she had said stirred something deep within: why couldn't i just speak to Jesus?
draw near to me, for I'll draw near to you
at an s.u. children's camp a year or so later i chose to believe.......my life would never be the same again...
i started searching for a home in which to worship the Lord and found myself at a methodist church where i became part of the worship team......singing the Word, after a year or so the young minister left to lead another church and a few months later the youth started leaving too......members of our band were starting to attend a nearby baptist church, they said it was filled with youth and awesome worship, everyone was going there.......my friend invited me to go with her.........eventually i ventured to join the tide.......my friend and i joined a cell group and later when we moved in together we hosted the cell group..........it was during this time that i was wrestling with another big decision in my life........to walk away from a long term relationship........
draw near to me, for I'll draw near to you
this was a stormy time of my life, i had left home, left a long-term relationship, was just beginning my teaching career and now i felt like i was on my own......shy, self-concious i struggled to fit in at the church......
some time later i asked a friend from cell if i could join him on a night out, it felt safe enough to ask him as he was a brother of a school friend, he was going to be meeting up with some of his friends.......that night i met my husband.......he had recently attended a church service at the baptist church......invited by the same friend i was out with.....
around two years later we were married, we moved over the mountain and away from the life we knew to start our life together......
draw near to me, for I'll draw near to you
for a while we travelled to church and were part of a cell group which met in our area......and then i met someone with a love for the Lord that was so strong that i couldn't help but want to be her friend....we worked at the same school and soon discovered that we even lived in the same complex......they had recently left their church and were attending a home church; they invited us to join them.....
here we were guided to believe that the only Word that was important was the Word of God.....and so there were no prepared sermons.......we read straight out of the Bible and discussed what we read....it was here that we learnt that we needed to abide in Christ.......that His Spirit was already abiding in us.....and we listened as the Spirit within those around us taught us and revealed Christ to us.....
draw near to me, for I'll draw near to you
the Body that surrounded us grew and changed often over the years......we met as a group of mixed ages with our young children crawling among us as we worshipped......as the children grew older we gathered together as adults only while parents took it in turns to teach the children.....we met as a Body in the morning, we met at night, bringing young ones along and including them in the fellowship at times......the younger generation felt led by the Lord to begin fellowshipping together with our children in the mornings, while the older generation felt a need to gather together at night.......sometimes we'd congregate all as one.......some have left, some have stayed.......some come often, some come when they feel led to......but we are all still part of the Body.......
when i look back over the years i can clearly see how the Lord has quietly been drawing me near all of my life......He has removed the need for the security from routines, He has made a home within me to worship Him, He has led me to a place of rest where i can be myself while i abide in Him, He has made me part of a Body hungry to be in unity with Him......
i believe that everyone can know Christ, i believe that when you choose to believe in Him His Spirit becomes yours and He will gently lead you, i believe that we are now living in a time when we no longer need one person to stand in front of church to preach the Word to bring new revelations.......i believe the Word lives within and He can teach you bringing you into Truth.......and when you gather together with like-minded believers to encourage one another, the words He has whispered to you will be confirmed......
Hebrews 8 vs 10 This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their mind and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. No longer will a man teach his neighbour, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' because they will all know me, from the least to the greatest, For I will forgive their wickedness and I will remember their sins no more."
