Exodus 29vs 25 and burn them on the altar for a sweet and satisfying fragrance before the Lord; it is an offering made by fire to the Lord.
especially when it came to fat.......fat? why would the smell of fat please the Lord? isn't that the stuff we are not supposed to eat? wouldn't He just want the best meat from us? surely He doesn't want the fat too? that's the unhealthy stuff.......the stuff we really don't need.......
over the last few years i believe that He has slowly shown me why the smell of fat burning is pleasing to Him......
fat IS the stuff we really don't need, it's the beliefs about ourselves (and Him) that we have that hold us back from walking in Spirit and Truth........the things we think we need to do to be righteous.......and sometimes they are beliefs we don't even know are there until He gently shows us.........
when the Father first started pulling at my heartstrings, gently trying to help me to let go, i thought that He was asking me to sacrifice what I treasured most in the world.......instead He was really asking me to receive......
you see what i believed was that He was a God who asked you to give up things that are precious to you......because if i wasn't sacrificing something then i wasn't being a good person, wife, mother.....
and so in His gentle way He started showing me that He is a Father who wants us to receive His life.......not make sacrifices.......just believe and receive.......because what He is i am...... because of what Jesus sacrificed for me........no more sacrificing needed from me, it is finished........
He first whispered about renewing my mind.......changing what i believed in, to become someone i believe in........because when i find myself in Him: all His promises are yes! and amen (so be it!)....
i believed that i had chosen Him.......instead He had chosen me.......He had persued me......and when He renewed that belief i finally could begin to accept His gifts which He so willingly wanted me to receive.......
burning away the fat IS pleasing to our Lord.......and effortless when we receive what He freely gives.....His life in us, completing the good works He has begun.......
so around the end of 2011 when i was trying to come to terms with the fact that the life i was living was about to change i felt that i should join the gym.......honestly, i wasn't a gym person at the time, i'd tried that all before and it didn't really work......but i felt it was something that the Lord was saying i should do so i joined.......when the Lord says do, i often ask why? and because He's patient with me sometimes i think He gives me a glimpse of the why ;-) .......but there's always so much more to Him........He was busy restoring........one of the things i had beaten myself up about when it came to home schooling was that i couldn't possibly have been a good home schooler because i just didn't have the self-discipline......instead He showed me that i do, when i believe what He says about me.......i have his mind......i have His self-control......and when i'm walking where He leads what was once a burden becomes very light to carry........so instead of finding gym to be a labour as it had been before, it became a blessing to me......in fact going to gym has become a place where He whispers His love to me often.......
one day last year, while in the pool doing aqua, i felt Him saying to me: like you are fully immersed in the water now, THIS is what I am going to do for you.......immerse you fully into Me.......
and so for a year i went to gym........and didn't loose one ounce of fat!
at the beginning of this year i was reconsidering gym......do i do this still......it wasn't working, i hadn't lost any weight....and then He reminded me about an eating plan i had followed when trying to conceive (which i still believe was one of the reasons why i eventually did conceive).......a balanced way of eating......and so i joined up again.....and in one month i lost three kilograms........why Lord?
by going to gym and doing the exercises, i showed you that i am within you and that because i am within you you DO have self-discipline.......you didn't need to run to anyone/anything else to find your way, what i have placed within you is good enough to do all things i will lead you to do.........and life is not about doing the right exercises to loose the fat.......the extra weight you carry.......feed on me, eat from my life and i will take away the fat (beliefs) that weigh you down.......be careful what/whom you feed off of-where/whom you get your life from.......you don't have to do the work i haven't created you for......this tires you out and becomes a burden to you.....just let me lead you and when you follow I will renew your mind to be like mine..........all I have is within you.......freely receive,
the past two months have been so interesting........i realise that i am at the beginning of a very exciting new step on this journey with Christ......His Love being poured out into me........and whereas before i believed that i was unworthy of receiving His Love, He is burning away the fat and i am longing to freely receive His Love........and so by His grace i live in hope that the weight of unbelief will continue to fall off effortlessly.......both in mind and body ;-)
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| A rare occurrence......me caught on camera! Dec 2011 |
